Professional relationships

Continuing with my relationship issues, here's a post dealing with some professional issues I've had to confront recently. Suggestions and comments will be welcomed with cookies!

This needs a little background before getting into things. My lab is kind of on a line between biosciences (my program), and an engineering department, as my advisor is faculty in both areas. I am one of the first graduate students in my lab, and have had a fairly close relationship with my advisor from day 1. My advisor refers to me as a friend, and some of our discussions have blurred the line between "friend" and "student/advisor" relationships (which makes me mildly uncomfortable at times). My labmates K and J both came into the lab after I did, and do not have this relationship to our advisor. K is working on an MS in the engineering program, while J is our new PhD student in biology.

A while back, Advisor had invited me to give a poster presentation for a funding agency. I didn't really feel I could take the extra time away from classes, having already gone to one conference and been sick this semester. I suggested that my advisor take labmate K, who hadn't had the opportunity to go to the other conference. Advisor agreed, and told K what was required by when. When deadline time rolled around, K was nowhere near ready. (Though it did eventually get done.)

This is not a new pattern with K, which is frustrating for me and our advisor. K has had issues with classes (mostly related to switching fields after undergrad) and with procrastination (the reason the first conference didn't work out). Curiously, though, K has no problems finding time to take 10 mile hikes and pursue other recreational activities. I'm hoping that my suggesting K for this presentation doesn't lower my standing in my advisor's eyes (though I'm not really worried), and I'm wondering how I can help K get back on track.

I've not sat down and discussed this with K, as I think that would end badly. The fact that I am in a different (and K thinks, easier) program is part of it (though I've taken and done well in most of the engineering classes). I know K is depressed, in part about classes and her relationship with our advisor, and I'm definitely not qualified to deal with that. How can I help my labmate step up and really succeed? I'm seeing time management issues, mostly, and the panic that comes with realizing you've gotten in over your head. Is there anything I can do to step in and help out? Or is it up to K to deal with this and ask for help if and when they want it? I realize that some people are just not cut out for science and/or grad school (or aren't ready at this point in their lives), but it feels like I've done something wrong when someone I should have been supporting and helping is having this much trouble.

Thoughts?

Growing up can suck.

How does one decide when to end a friendship? I thankfully haven't had to deal with this very much in my life, but it seems to be an issue now. I've known my friend (we'll call her Erica) for about ten years; for most of that time we were very close. When she was dealing with the aftermath of assault, I was the one she called, and when I had professional setbacks that put me in tears, she was there to talk me through it. My problem now is that we seem to be growing apart, and I'm not sure whether it's worth trying to fix the friendship or just let it go.

Erica is bubbly, bright, intelligent and can be very sweet, but she has always been kind of selfish and not the type to really put effort into friendships. I have almost always been the one to call her and to make arrangements to get together when I'm in town (once or twice a year, recently). She likes to talk about her work and her social dramas (especially the boyfriend(s) of the month), and often doesn't pick up on when I want or need to talk about something. Subtlety is very much not her strong suit. Nor is remembering important dates, or being anywhere within 15 minutes of when she's said she'll be.

On the other hand, I am nearly always 5 minutes early, make a point to remember and acknowledge birthdays, etc., and would rather talk about current events or entertainment than her work (which in no way relates to my interests), though gossip is usually okay. These differences have started to grate on my nerves, and over the last year or so, I've started feeling drained when I hang out with her. Also, when we had several months of no communication this year, I found that I didn't really miss her all that much. Am I an awful person for thinking this, and yet still wanting (somehow) to fix our friendship and get it back to the way it used to be?

I think one of the major issues is how busy we both are. I don't have the time or energy to chase her down for a phone call or a meetup that will ultimately end in me being frustrated and angry, and she hasn't picked up her half of the burden, either because of time constraints or just not caring. But at the same time, I have gone through a lot with this woman - I've trusted her with every secret I had, and had so many good times with her. I'd like to think there's still some good in the relationship and that it can be rescued.

Readers: what do you think? Given that I see Erica at most twice a year, is it worth the effort to salvage this friendship? Do you have any suggestions on how I should go about saving or ending it?

You know it's the end of the semester when...

It's definitely the end of the semester. It's obvious from the declining number of cars in the parking lots at 8am, from the conversations undergrads have as they walk around campus, and from the attitudes in my grad classes. No one is interested in this week - it's all about getting through it and getting the heck out of here. I am no exception, as I seem to have lost all motivation, despite the fact that I have assignments, an exam, and a take home final standing between me and home.

I'm working on a couple of posts about relationships and how to deal with problems in professional and personal situations. Both are pulled from issues that I've had this semester, so I'm working on how to make them slightly more anonymous. We'll see if I can do that and get them posted before the holiday.

I'm leaving for home early next week - here's hoping that the storms this week are clearing the way for a no-weather-delays week next week. I'd really like to not sleep in airports this trip.

For now, though, it's back to forcing myself to study and write papers. For everyone else with the same issue - Good luck!

Sometimes long weekends... are really long

Happy late Thanksgiving, all. Hope everyone had a good and safe holiday (the first time I typed that, I wrote "food" rather than "good"... tell you anything about my Thursday?). I didn't get to see my family this year, because I couldn't take the time after being sick last month. Not that I've gotten much schoolwork done, but my apartment is clean, my labmate's cat is fed, and I'm so bored I'll probably be productive tomorrow. Slightly less than 3 weeks until I get to take data on the plane and work from the relatively stress free environment in my parents' house. I. Can't. Wait.

Science-wise: At the conference last month, there were a couple of talks about using passive acoustic monitoring to estimate population densities of marine mammals, especially off the northern coast of Alaska, where it's often very difficult to visually observe whales/walruses/ etc. This article summarizes an attempt to use computer algorithms to do the same thing from bird song, with associated applications to marine mammals. The summary isn't very detailed, and I'll need to read the paper before I can really agree with whether or not it will be useful in my field, but it seems promising.

Ooops

Been a while.... shortly after the last post, I took off to go and visit family and friends for the weekend, and went straight from that visit to meeting with a potential collaborator. Well, the morning of the meeting (as Murphy's Law would predict) I was awake at 4 am with the flu. Got through and got through the long drive back okay.

Proceeded to prepare my talk for my department that I was supposed to give that week, until my advisor ordered me to call the Chair, cancel the talk, and go recover. That was a good call - I ended up being knocked on my ass all week. I'm still not entirely caught up with getting back to people after the conference in October.

Bought my ticket home a week or so ago....I can't wait. For some reason this year is simultaneously inching oh-so-slowly towards when I get to see my family again and rocketing through classes and deadlines for grants, etc. Oi. Hopefully I'll be able to do some catching up this coming week, after my in-prep grant proposal goes out the door.

In other news... water on the moon! That's pretty spiffy. :)

Scientists are people too!

Who knew, right? It was very surreal to watch all the people I'd seen giving talks and schemed to introduce myself to drinking and dancing and having fun on Friday night. Great end to a good conference.

I had a really good time at the conference, especially enjoyed not being in PA during the nasty snowstorm (!) that hit last week. Bizarrely early in the year for that kind of weather, though. When I get a few minutes, I'll list off a few of my favorite talks from the week and give a better summary of my impressions and what I learned. Right now, though, it's time to start playing catchup for the classes I missed while I was gone. :)

October? What?

I finished my poster today. Despite the weeks of panicking over doing one certain analysis (which it turns out I didn't do or even need to do for this poster) and procrastinating to the best of my extensive abilities, it's done. All I have to do is get it printed tomorrow or Wednesday. Hooray!

I've also been invited to another talk in December... we'll see. I might talk to Advisor about taking one of my labmates... I feel like I'm being favored and as much as I like it, it isn't fair to let my labmate wallow in misery while I go jetting off to all sorts of places she'd like to be. Though she may shun this one because it's funded by people she doesn't particularly care for. We'll see.

Classes are going better than I have any right to expect them to, but my apartment has taken the hit for that. I'm behind on all of my chores and trying to get ready to leave for a week on Friday. hoo, boy. This is also not helped by my forementioned Procrastination Skills (yes, they are good enough to deserve capital letters. Maybe that's a bad thing...)

In science news... yeah, I've got nothing. Sorry 'bout that. How about this: the biennial conference of the Society for Marine Mammology meets next week in Quebec City, Canada. If you want to see the biggest and best collection of Action Nerds (Moore, C. 2003. Fluke; or, I know why the winged whale sings) on the planet, be there!

Panic Mode

I hit panic mode last Monday, because I realized that I have a little over 3 weeks to get my analysis done and a poster designed and printed for October. So I've been staying late in lab pretty much every night since (I took one night off because I was completely exhausted, but still). I'm fairly certain I'll be able to get it done (I really don't have a choice....), but I'm really hoping my analysis works the first time I run it. (Yes, I know that's an unrealistic goal. I've planned for it to not work. Stop laughing at me.)

Anyhow. I'm at work now, supposedly getting some of my analysis done. I made decent progress yesterday, before I accidentally napped for four hours. Have done decently today. I'm hoping to get through 3 more files by the end of the day, and possibly work on a different section of the project tonight. My timeline is doable, I think.

Re: field work -- not gonna happen. Bugger. Maybe she'll still want to take me next year? Or I'll be able to go for a few weeks in the spring? Labmate S. flew to his field site yesterday for three weeks - lucky him. Hope it goes well. Labmates K. and J. aren't going anywhere anytime soon, though. I'm sort of afraid I'm coming off as a bad person to my new labmate, because I tend to vent to anyone who's around and she's been around a lot. Which is a problem, because I really like her and I'd like to not come off as a bitch. I'll have to work on changing that.

What does one do about a particularly irritating coworker, though? Sharing an office with this person is grating on my nerves (and probably the other officemates' nerves as well), because they doesn't seem to care about anyone else's comfort and makes comments that (intentionally or not) insult people. And then has the nerve to ask for help and snap when they don't understand. Previous dicussions about certain issues (ie bugs in the office) have not helped and only brought on snarky comments. I am about at the end of my rope with this person, and I'd rather it not come down to a screaming match. If you have any suggestions, toss them my way.

Alright. 3 files to go today, then reading up on windows and pulse rates. :)

I should be working

My time management this month is a mess. I'm desperately behind on the analysis for my conference in October, and not sure as to whether or not I'm leaving the country for fieldwork this month (I was supposed to go Aug. 31, and we're still waiting on a permit....).

That said, I came in to work yesterday to get stuff done only to find that I've been locked out of my lab computer. Apparently, because I got an external fellowship and my lab doesn't have to pay me anymore, they don't want to provide me with a computer. Or any warning about needing to back up my stuff before they lock me out. Great, guys. Thanks. That really helps.

It'll get straightened out in the next week or so, but I've already had to re-do a part of a homework assignment that is on my desktop, and I'm not sure what other updated files are on there that I might want. For instance, some of my noise filters that I wrote in June, which I need for the thing due in October. oi.

As far as Advisor's fieldwork goes... it may not. If we don't get a permit today or tomorrow, I'm not sure there's any point in going. We'll see what she thinks, but at this point, I'm kind of accepting that I'm stuck in PA until time for this conference (which may actually be a good thing, seeing how behind I am). We'll see.... it would've been nice to see ocean, though. And whales. oh well.

aaaand back to work.

Assumptions and altruism

I recently read "Among Whales" by Roger Payne. For those who haven't read it, it's his account of living in Argentina and working with right whales, and some of his ideas on science and whales that he hasn't actually done the research to back up, etc. He mentions that if his ideas provoke someone into trying to disprove them, he'd be glad. Well. Consider me provoked.

One of his ideas is that fin whales produce 20 Hz sounds in order to advertise food patches to the rest of the "herd" in the Southern Ocean. Over a whale's lifetime, it will be both the advertiser and the recipient, and the process will continue by reciprocal altruism as all whales benefit and contribute by turns. Sounds all nice and cuddly, doesn't it? But when I read that portion (multiple times, mind you, just to be sure I wasn't missing some key part that would make the whole idea make sense) all that struck me was that he was assuming that no one was cheating (listening without advertising in return), and that no other species were involved. Maybe my background in game theory and ecological modeling shaped my opinions, but why should fin whales advertise patches of krill to other species (blue whales, humpbacks, etc) that very probably can hear and interpret the 20 Hz calls? It made no sense to me, so I started looking for published studies.

One paper from Nature found that only male fin whales in a certain area were producing sounds (9 of 21 males calling; 0 of 22 females calling). Reciprocal altruism under those conditions would not work; all females are thus "cheaters". And what about the non-calling males? Were they not in a food patch at the time, or were they just not advertising that they had found food? The authors of the paper postulate that the calling males are advertising food patches to females in order to secure mating opportunities based on the following facts: 1) only males called; 2) the study area was used for feeding; 3) the calls are acoustically optimal for long distance signalling; and 4) fin whales do not aggregate in specific areas for breeding.

I am willing to be convinced that male fin whales may "mate gift" food patches to females before mating, but the reasoning in the Nature paper seems very weak. I'm reminded of a study breeding amphibians, in which certain males produced calls to attract females, while "satellite" males lurked near the callers and waited for females to approach. When they did, the satellite would attempt to "steal" a mating opportunity from the caller. Isn't it possible that fin whales follow the same strategy? A silent male locates a caller and lurks nearby until the female approaches for food. Then, he either attempts to mate, or begins to call only when he knows a female is nearby. Or, he simply eats the food himself and benefits in that way.

The evidence that I would need to be convinced of "mate gifting" is 1) a long term, individual based study on which males call when; and whether or not they are consistently next to food when they call, 2) a study of paternity in which calling males have increased breeding success as opposed to silent males, and 3) a study indicating that females are indeed attracted to 20 Hz calls during the breeding season. (I am under the impression that the calls are highly seasonal, which is appropriate to a mating display. If they are not seasonal, and still males are the only callers, I would still want evidence from studies 1 & 2 above.)

Reciprocal altruism is difficult to prove at the best of times, and systems of large, long-lived, fast-moving, and geographically widespread animals are NOT ideal for altruism studies. I admit that it may be found in some cetacean species; however, it requires a huge burden of proof, and this system currently does not have that.

Philosophy of science

One of my courses this semester is a reading/discussion class, and we're doing a unit on the philosophy of science. This week, we read two papers, one on the merits of multiple working hypotheses, and one on "strong inference", which dealt with inductive reasoning and falsification of hypotheses. We talked about whether or not we as scientists and ecologists and wildlife managers use these concepts in our research and how we could or should apply them.

I think it's a discussion that every scientist and aspiring scientist should have - our group started out making excuses for why we don't use the elegant designs and "crucial experiments" that the strong inference paper talked about. Government regulations, messy systems, and the issues of fundamentals versus nitty-gritty details all came up and were good points. But as a scientist, if you don't ask the questions in the right way, you will waste time and resources trying to solve your problem. This is especially relevant in my field, as boats and field seasons in general are not cheap, and permits to "take" whales are rare and difficult to come by.

My advisor solves this problem by drawing logical trees as she plans a project or an analysis. What is our main question? What data do we need to answer it clearly? What methods could we use to gather this data? (or, in the event that we have a dataset already: what questions can we answer with this data set? Do we need additional information? How do we get that? What steps do we need to take before we can answer the question?), but I don't know that she's ever thought of falsifying a hypothesis rather than proving one. Because as the paper points out, it is impossible to actually PROVE anything in science. Can you prove that the sun will rise in the east tomorrow? No, though logically it probably will, as it has always done so before. However, if the sun happens to rise in the west, the hypothesis that the sun always rises in the east is shot down and disproved. There can be overwhelming evidence that backs up a hypothesis or theory (think evolution by natural selection), but it is still a theory. We might find something that disproves it someday. Lack of evidence is NOT evidence of lack.

On the other hand, something that cannot be disproved is NOT a scientific hypothesis (think "intelligent design"). "Certain things are so complex that they must have been designed by a creator that we can't perceive except through his works" is not falsifiyable. You can't prove that the creator doesn't exist. etc etc etc. This bit has been covered so frequently that I'm not going to go further into it here.

The point of the discussion was to think critically about the design of your experiments and your hypotheses before you actually get into the nitty gritty work. Simple and elegant is the thing to strive for, even if your work deals with messy, restricted systems that don't easily lend themselves to uncomplicated tests.

New semester: day 3

The undergrads are back on campus. Have been for a few days, actually, but I tried to avoid noticing until I absolutely had to. It's not bad, just....different. Much more active and fast paced than this summer was.

I hadn't actually intended to take classes this fall, but I ended up signing up for a few last week. I may still have to drop one or two if I end up going on fieldwork with Advisor, but that's still tbd. One of my courses is an upper level undergrad class, and I spoke to the professor about leaving for 3 weeks in the middle of the semester, and he was very understanding - nice to know that some people actually think about these things. :)

Lab stuff is going well... Advisor has projects and labmate K. and new labmate J. to entertain her for a week or so while I frantically try to get my projects in order. Though, braindead as I am I left an essential piece of paper at work yesterday and can't be productive from home this morning as I planned. (Dentist appointments or anything else off campus in the middle of the morning throw off everything. ugh.)

My apartment is almost decorated... I have two or three pictures left to hang, and my new kitchen floor is getting put in on Monday.

No science news today...more political. Senator Edward Kennedy died last night or this morning. I know he had all sorts of admirable views and got important laws passed, but all I can think of is his stance and influence in the Cape Wind Farm issue off Cape Cod. I don't know if I'd support the wind farm myself, as I haven't had a chance to read all of the reports, but Kennedy's NIMBY stance on it grates on my nerves.

So. First post from my new apartment. Whoo! I'm essentially done moving out of the other place, just have to hand in keys and parking passes tomorrow morning. Why is it that every roommate that I've ever lived with has left me to clean up their mess? With the possible exception of Caitlin, who at least cleaned her area in the house we had senior year, I've apparently lived with complete slobs. I'm left wondering whether the latest one actually didn't know how to clean, or maliciously left me with his mess. But - now, whenever there is a mess I have to clean, at least it is MY mess. :)

In science news, this article struck very close to my heart. Ocean acidification is a big issue related to the increase in CO2 in our atmosphere, that no one really seems to be worried about. It will impact every species in the ocean that a) uses CaCO3 (calcium carbonate) for shells (i.e. all shellfish & pteropods, corals, etc) or b) has systems that equalize body PH with the ocean. The fisheries and food webs that depend on these organisms are at risk, as well. Something to keep in mind when you consider climate change. It doesn't just affect humans.

Work progress: Let's not talk about this. Next deadline: Friday.

:)

Free time? What's that?

Busy busy busy. As usual, but this week it's extra busy. My stats class is ending, my lease is ending, and August (my month to get work done...) is rapidly running out.

So. Progress summary. Advisor's project - coming along. Slowly, but coming. Having it done by Aug. 31 - doable.

My analysis for meeting in Oct - stalled. Progress - nil. Chance of having it done by Aug. 31 - zero. Crapola.

Stats class/hw/project/exam - will be done by Wednesday. I don't really have a choice on this, but it's doable anyway.

Moving/cleaning - just getting started. Shouldn't be too awfully difficult, as I have a friend coming out to help next weekend. Though the requirement from the mattress people that I stay home all next Saturday is causing all sorts of problems in my plans. The fact that furniture (even in a box!) is too heavy for me to lift by myself is also not helpful.

Thesis/fellowship/school red-tape - progressing nicely. Will hopefully have something to show for all of this by Tuesday.

Right. Back to fighting with Stats hw for an hour or so, then on to moving. and then to work for more Advisor's project.

Podcast news

I've discovered podcasts. I don't know why it's taken me this long, but it made for a good day. I have free Spanish lessons (with the English bit in a Scottish accent, which makes me giggle), and three difference science podcasts, all for free.

2 of the science podcasts come from PRI. I have "PRI's the world: Science" and "PRI: Science and Creativity from Studio 360". Both very interesting, with lots of different topics about all aspects of biology, physics, etc.

The third one I got is "COSEE NOW: Ocean Gazing", produced by Ari Daniel Shapiro, who is himself a cetacean biologist. The show covers lots of aspects of oceanography, including cetacean acoustics. His website is well worth a visit.

Science can be tedious

Don't really have a whole lot to say today... mostly just trying to keep up with my homework and research deadlines. Made a bit easier and a bit harder by the fact that my advisor was out of town tagging humpies all last week. I can't make up my mind about whether or not I wanted to go... it certainly would have been more fun than my week, but I have so much to do that I don't think it would have been a good idea. Oh well.

Labmate K. is still away. This makes 2+ weeks. I can't imagine that our advisor will be incredibly pleased, but I can't really talk, either, because I've been known to take work with me and leave for a month at a time. Hmmm.

New labmate should be arriving soon, which will be good. Then I move apartments and get ready for a month of fieldwork with the advisor. I can't wait to get out of here, but I'm kind of nervous at the same time. I guess that's the price of doing new things...

New mantra: statistics is more fun than field work.

After fighting with my incredibly frustrating statistics assignment for several hours, I checked email.

Sitting there, taunting me, was a link to the blog my advisor is keeping about her tagging cruise this week. I was supposed to go next week, but that isn't going to happen. (link is at right)

I'm not upset, because going would have meant more work and stress and missed class for me, but.... argh. Hence the title of this post.

Statistics is more fun than fieldwork. Statistics is more fun than fieldwork. Statistics is more fun than fieldwork. Now if I could only convince myself of that...

Silence

When I get bored, I'm likely to go to a bookstore. Tonight, having left work at 5pm (which seems obscenely early for me, as I'm used to being on campus for much longer than 9 hours at a go), I ended up at Barnes and Noble, cruising around not really interested in any of sections I usually go to for reading material.

I ended up in the nature section, and by sheer chance stumbled on Gordon Hempton and John Grossmann's book One Square Inch of Silence. I'm less than two chapters in, at the moment and thoroughly enjoying it. Essentially, it's the story of an acoustic ecologist trying to preserve one square inch of area in the continental US that has no human sound intrusions. He traveled from Washington state to Washington DC making recordings along the way and meeting with politicians at the end. If you have the time, go read this book. Please. The more people that know about the value of silence in a noisy world, the better.

Sciencey stuff

First: a NYT article about whale watching and the "friendly" gray whales of Baja. Nothing really revolutionary, and more whale-huggy than absolutely necessary, but interesting nonetheless.

Second: this poll about Americans' attitude towards and knowledge of science in general is somewhat disturbing. While the public apparently thinks science is a good thing, American science and scientists are considered less effective (I suppose that's the appropriate word) than they used to be. Also, according to the poll, scientists' views of the American public are NOT good (and I admit to holding some of those same views myself). And while the poll didn't examine why these differences exist it's good to realize they exist and try to work around them. Better science education is desperately needed across most of the country. Damned if I know how to fix it, though.

In other news, we had an absolutely fantastic thunderstorm here today, followed by my building's highly obnoxious fire alarm going off for an hour. Joy.

Also: my abstract was accepted for a conference in Canada later this year! I had planned on going whether or not they accepted it, but this way I'll have better chances of making contacts and I can stick another publication on my CV and get practice presenting. I am pleased. :)

The next month and a half are going to be horrifically busy -- Advisor has a paper that she wants submitted by the end of August, which I'm supposedly in charge of, and I want my data analysis for the abstract to be done by that same time. Add my statistics class, thesis revisions, and literature review to those projects, and I'm pretty much doomed. I'm anticipating that this weekend includes the last of my "free" time for the rest of the summer. Except for one or two softball games a week... I signed up for a department grad student team, which I'm almost regretting.... but not quite. I have a guaranteed committment at this point in case I desperately need an evening or two off in the coming weeks. Updates as I have time to make them. :)

Remember that orthogonality thing? Yeah, that. From my last post. Guess what came up in my stats class this morning? You got it: orthogonal polynomials. Great.

Been busy the last week or so - stats class starting, spanish class ending, research, 4th of July, etc. Will have sciencey update in the next couple of days, when I get time to think.

:)

When I rule the world

Certain words will be eliminated from the English language. "Orthogonal" is at the top of that list, because every time I see it, it's immediately preceding something that I don't understand. Ugh.

Less is more? Or more is just enough?

The committee meeting went well.... though I am having to come to terms with just how much of an overachiever I am. After my advisor telling me repeatedly over the last two years that I'm trying to do too much, I cut huge chunks out of my proposal. Then the committee collectively told me to cut what was left in half. Oops? I think it'll be better they way they're telling me to do it, but it means getting rid of my fieldwork (vs. captive studies) and the modeling aspect that I had wanted to do to conceptually tie the whole thing together. Rats. Now I'm really going to have to force myself to sit down and go through it and decide what I really, really want out of it.

Final word: the potential new labmate has been accepted into the program, and the letter is on it's way. Now we just wait to hear from J. I hope she accepts. I really liked meeting with her when she came to visit.

Work for this week: Monday is advisor's project, Tuesday is getting my data analysis straightened out (I've managed to confuse the heck out of myself, AGAIN), Wednesday and Thursday are classwork (Statistics starts Wednesday, oh joy), and Friday is thesis work. That's the plan, anyway. I need to actually start forcing myself to really work again. Ever since we got back in April, I've been sort of half on/half off and it just isn't enough.

Anyhow - the roommate is away for the weekend, so I'm going to scrub the kitchen and gather all of my crap into my room while he's gone. Then head into the office and get ahead a bit on the advisor's project. Whee?

"Working" from home

I woke up this morning and decided I couldn't stand going into the office today. So I'm spending the day catching up on chores around the house while my roommate is out, and studying for my make-up Spanish exam tonight. And prepping for my committee meeting, though I really have no idea how that's supposed to go. Labmate K. was on facebook this morning, saying that she has the office to herself...I can't figure out a nice way to say that it's only because I couldn't deal with another day of only having her to talk to. Oops? (Labmate S. is on vacation this week, while our other officemates are supposed to be in Greece. I think one is home injured, though, which is unfortunate.)

In science news, this is kind of cool. Has some implications for my work, as well. Concentration and signal detection and all that.

On the schedule for today: finishing my laundry, reading 3 papers, Spanish studying, dishes. Joy.

Link pimpage

Economics of the whaling industry: article that details the non-profitability of the whaling industry. While I understand that the industry is technically legal in these countries, it certainly isn't really scientific and I'd like to see it stopped through non-psycho-activist channels. This might be a good way to go, if we can show the people in these countries that their money is being spent to kill animals that would be more profitable seen in whale watching. (Though I suppose for Japan at least that may not be a effective argument; they do most of their hunting in the Southern ocean.)

EDIT: I feel the need to clarify this. The psycho-activists mentioned above have a certain show on TV which I very much dislike. The captain and officers are inept (I've heard comparisons to Gilligan, which would be funny if these people weren't likely to kill their own crew), refer to themselves as "pirates" (and fly a jolly roger as their flag...), and have no regard for the safety of their crew or of the Japanese. (actually, just now, the captain was completely callous in his response to news that the Japanese fleet was looking for a man overboard). Their tactics are illegal and dangerous, and while I do not agree with killing whales, the Japanese are legally in the right and are not endangering human life. My personal belief is that legal and diplomatic channels should be used to stop whaling; activism in the southern ocean is likely to get people killed, and that is unacceptable.

Acoustic Ecology Institute: site covers news about acoustic ecology projects (recent articles: wind-farm noise, Hawaii Superferry, naval exercises, etc). Also has links to bioacoustics research group sites.

I'm getting ready for my first committee meeting, and I have no idea what I'm supposed to do for it. Suppose I'd better talk to my advisor about that. Am also supposed to keep working on that report I had talked about - turned out my contact didn't even read it before I met with her, so now I'm even less stressed about deadlines for her. Oops?

Back from vacation

So last week lacked updates because I was visiting my family and taking a friend around the state. She is the luckiest tourist on the face of the planet, I swear. Saw all but one of the major animals, got lucky with great weather and scenery, and even saw a black bear in the yard. Anyhow. Some pictures:






Science update will come tomorrow, because I haven't kept up on it the last few days. I was productive, though - met with a collaborator at home and scheduled a committee meeting for later this month. Eep!

Progress

There has been progress on the report. This is good. It still isn't in any shape that I'd consider good, but it's a first draft, and I have a few hours tomorrow to work on it... so it's passable.

I cannot wait for my trip. Driving out of here tomorrow night and flying Tuesday morning. Will be home by Tuesday afternoon! My challenge will be staying awake on my drive... leaving here after class (9pm) for a 4 hour drive. UGH. (and let me just say that I had so better not hit a deer. I will be SO upset if that happens).

Today's science pimpage: this article is encouraging. We aren't there yet, but it's coming. There was also an article about bats and vocal recognition that was mildly interesting, but predictable...so this got picked instead.

Right. On to packing and making sure that all my arrangements are made. One draft, meeting with prospy, and spanish class, and then I am on my way HOME!

A bit more depth, for now.

Alright - since this was set up during a bout of procrastination, I might as well continue that. (and somewhere inside of me, the little person who likes deadlines cringes and dies a bit more. oops?)

My deadline is Monday on a report that I'm supposed to have been working on for months. Key words there: "supposed to". I'm leaving for about a week on Tuesday, so whatever isn't done by Monday probably won't get done before I meet with these people the following week. Dammit. My procrastination habit is not helpful. At all.

I was one of those kids that decides at about ten years old that they want to be a marine biologist. Well, I did it. I went to a state university with an excellent marine biology program and graduated in 2007. During a couple of summers there, I had great internships with two research groups on the East Coast of the US, met my eventual graduate advisor, and applied for grad school inland. I started in the fall of 07.

My family is several states away from here, and while I see them a few times a year, I'd like to be around a bit more. Especially now, because of some recent medical things. But that's where my trip next week takes me, so I can be patient for a few more days. I'm taking one of my good friends out there to do some touristy things and to visit with my family and some of my friends from high school (always an experience in themselves...).

I haven't gotten started with my real field research yet; I've just essentially completed my thesis proposal, and am getting my committee together. I feel like I'm behind the rest of the students in my cohort, but then I remember that their field sites a) don't generally involve boats or massive amounts of permits, and b) are much much closer than mine. I'm still going to have to bust my tail to get out of here in three or four more years, though. (This isn't to say I have no field experience - I've been helping Advisor out with her projects, and will do so again in July and September. My work, though, is completely separate from hers.)

For the moment, I have one labmate (K.) and one pseudo-labmate (S.), who works in a related lab under a different advisor. They are both in a different program than I am, which I appreciate: my program requires much less mathiness. There's the possiblity of another labmate for next year, but we'll have to see how it goes. I'm meeting the prospective student on Monday before I leave.

As far as my philosophy on life, I'm politically pretty liberal, and generally laid back (at least, I think so.). I enjoy reading, spending time outside and especially on boats, hiking, scuba diving, and a variety of other things. I also (as you may have noticed) have an awful procrastination habit. My motto appears to be "do it right, but do it later". I'm working on fixing that. Eventually.

I'm spending this summer in the lab, with a few trips outside for fieldwork or vacations. And on that note, I should get down to work. Ta!

And there was light

The point of this blog is mainly to let me express my opinions and emotions in a setting that I am comfortable with and which other people can comment on. Diaries just don't work so well for that. It will be anonymous so that I can present my views without worrying about upsetting my advisor, labmates, family, and all sorts of powerful people who I might need favors from someday.

I'm currently a second year PhD student in cetacean biology at a fairly large university. I have the (somewhat awful) feeling that there are going to be some big changes in my life soon, and I'm planning to write about them and the rest of my life here. Feel free to comment and pass it on if you like.

So far, I love my job and my life. I'm incredibly fortunate to be able to do what I love and I want to share that appreciation.