'Declined' vs. 'Rejected'

Got a grant rejected today - which I had guessed was coming, seeing as I submitted it in November, and had seen other ones from that program getting funded on Fastlane. Frustrating, but I really just wanted the reviews at this point. (Which I skimmed, and it seems to be a classic case of Reviewer Number 3...ugh).

What really gets to me is that I wasted so much time waiting for this grant, because I was hoping to approach potential collaborators with money in my pocket. Now, I have to approach six months later than I would have originally, and still with no money and no data. I am PISSED, mostly at myself, and upset in general. I suppose it's good that I got this news on a weekend, so I'm not as upset in lab tomorrow, but.... ugh.

My procrastination habit has got to go. It does nothing but hurt me, and my chances at ever getting a g-d iota of data and graduating and all sorts of shit like that. Dammit.

(Also, it kills me that Advisor says I should reapply next year when I will STILL not have the data the reviewers wanted. Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck).

In keeping with the hotel theme...

I am at yet another hotel, near research site #1, for a meeting with collaborators and maybe (hopefully!) some preliminary data collection. Really, really wanting to get some data that I can start playing with, and approval to do some real work within the next month. I definitely feel more prepared than the last time I came here (though, that was coming off a conference in a foreign country two weeks previous, and the flu the morning of the meeting...), so hopefully things go well.

The short course/conference went well last month. The cranky-post was from the first day, and the week got much better as it went on. Made lots of contacts, had a good time with some old friends, and even learned a bit!

I have a post in progress (somewhere!) about my working style - if I ever remember it, I'll put it up. And maybe maybe next time I post, I'll have thesis progress! Woo!