Open letters

Dear Research spot,

Please, PLEASE stop being fucking dickheads. If you like the thing, say yes. If you don't like it, say no. But either way, stop fucking stringing me along and wasting my time and my assistants'. I'm sick and tired of your bullshit and your non-communication and your general assholishness. Screw off.

- me.

Dear chairman,

What are you thinking, allowing someone to replace a class they failed with TEACHING credits? Are you serious? How does that work?

Please grow a brain,
me.

Dear labmate,

I get it. You've put a lot of time and energy into this, and you want something out of it. Well, guess what. You've gotten something - you've been paid for the last two years, even though you're incompetent, rude, and have really whacked out priorities. Please get it through your head that no one likes having you around, and we're all hoping you wise up and leave soon. (and WITHOUT the degree that you most definitely have not earned.)

Sorry bout that, but it's true.
- me.